Faith
by Seeress
Summary: Funny how it always takes something disastrous to bring people closer together. Was it just the comfort in the arms of another? [Gojyox? implied GokuxSanzo angst]


**Faith**

_Disclaimer:_ This is a purely non-profit story written for entertainment purposes only. All characters of Saiyuki belong to their respective owners.

_Summary:_ Funny how it always takes something disastrous to bring people closer together. Was it just the comfort in the arms of another? Gojyox?; implied GokuxSanzo; angst

_Author's Notes:_ Well, my writing seems to get progressively weirder by the day! Well… who knows? Hopefully someone enjoys this. I had fun writing it. And please do review!

This is set, of course, during the 3rd manga after Sanzo has his… accident.

---

**- Hakkai -**

"I'll… get stronger."

Inwardly, he sighed. Poor Goku would do anything for Sanzo… but sometimes he just didn't understand. But then again, neither did Sanzo…

Thinking he'd given the other man enough to think about, he diverted Goku with the enticing offer of food. Unsurprisingly, and luckily for Sanzo, the boy didn't decline. He spared a brief glance out the window at the pouring rain, still coming down hard, and at the rigid body laying on the bed, the posture so indicative of the stubbornness in the face he couldn't presently see. He was going to exit silently, but his conscience thought better of it. At least, if he was worrying about it, Sanzo shouldn't be spared the luxury of guilt-free thoughts.

"I'd rather we didn't all suffer further."

---

**- Gojyo -**

He hated the dizziness that came with the loss of blood. Here he was, thinking to have a good time later on… but as he had to grab onto the nearest piece of furniture to keep from falling flat on his face, he knew that was out of the question. Silently he cursed Kannon for draining him of all his blood, but his hand was roaming to the wound Goku had made in his right arm, where the blood was partially seeping through the new bandage he had put on.

That kid had some bite.

He lazily dragged himself over to his bed and plopped down unceremoniously, running a hand through his tousled red hair. It was strange to think Goku could've killed them all, without even realizing it…

As if replying to his thoughts, none other than the monkey himself showed up at his door.

"Gojyo!" Well, he supposed there was something to be said for the fact that Goku seemed much happier. Hakkai must've worked his magic again…

"Hakkai's cooking for us! If you're late, I'm eating everything!" And he went off before Gojyo had a chance to reply.

Sighing, he turned over onto his side and stared intently at the wall. Did he want to be stuck in a room with Goku and Hakkai right now? The brat didn't seem so depressed anymore, but Hakkai… well, he hadn't spoken to Hakkai since. But he knew the man would come to find him, and he'd have to face his friend sooner or later. That, combined with the fact that his stomach was complaining rather loudly, forced him to groggily get up and try to inch his way to the kitchen.

---

**- Goku -**

Even in his disgruntled state, he could tell that there was something wrong with Gojyo. He would've liked to fool himself into thinking it was merely concern for Sanzo, which he was sure it partly was (even though Gojyo wouldn't be caught dead admitting it), but he knew it ran deeper than that. The usually audacious man was detached and contemplative, in much the same manner as Hakkai was. And that definitely qualified as unusual.

He had noticed that when Gojyo had entered, the two of them had only briefly glanced at one another as Gojyo sat down and Hakkai continued cooking. And even now, both were deathly silent. Uncomfortable with the tense atmosphere, he tried to find something to say.

"Hakkai, this is delicious!" He even went to the effort of putting on a fake grin, but all he got was a small smile from Hakkai, and nothing at all from Gojyo.

"Thank you, Goku. I'm glad you like it." Hakkai took a few more bites of his own food before getting up abruptly, the legs of the chair scraping loudly against the wood floor. "Well, I think I'm done here. I'll be in my room, reading."

And after washing his plate, he left without another word.

Leaving Goku with a very moody Gojyo.

Not sure what to do, he tried meekly to begin a conversation. He realized, sadly but rather quickly, that he'd never had a real conversation with Gojyo. All they'd ever said to each other were insults and arrogant remarks. He had no clue what to say.

So he said the first thing that was on his mind.

"I sure hope Sanzo's ok…"

Unfortunately for him, that was one thing Gojyo did not want to hear. He got up in much the same manner as Hakkai had, and glared daggers at Goku, who visibly flinched.

"That's all you worry about, isn't it?" Gojyo said to him in the most sarcastic tone.

Flustered, he didn't know how to reply. "Uhh… no…" It was said in the barest of whispers, but Gojyo caught it anyways. He scoffed loudly, and rolled his eyes. That was when Goku noticed the bandage on his arm, and the crimson stain that blotted it.

"What happened to your arm?" he asked, curious and eager to prove he was concerned for Gojyo as well. Gojyo's gaze at him was sharp as ever.

"Quit playing. You know damn well it was you who bit a chunk off me."

Eyes widened in terror, he supposed he must've looked awful enough, because Gojyo seemed to sense his guilt and started to appear uncomfortable himself.

"Hey, it's no big deal. Don't worry about it."

"I… don't remember at all…" he trailed off, eyes downcast in shame. He was suddenly jerked roughly by the collar, and found himself face to face with Gojyo.

"Don't go on a guilt trip on us. Your limiter broke. It wasn't your fault." Gojyo's words were full of conviction. He suddenly realized how close they were to each other as he felt Gojyo's breath brush his cheek. All of a sudden he felt flushed. The insane thought of Gojyo kissing him popped into his head…

"G-Gojyo…"

As if realizing, Gojyo let him go suddenly and started laughing. He wasn't too happy with being dropped and then laughed at, and was about to tell Gojyo off when the man looked at him.

"Sorry, don't know what I was thinking…" And his eyes were far away, wistful….

When he finally snapped back to it, he gave Goku a smirk before turning to leave.

"Sanzo's one lucky bastard. He's got a divine entity looking out for him, and you… if I weren't me, I'd be pretty jealous."

He was speechless as Gojyo walked away.

Before he was out of earshot, Gojyo called over his shoulder, "Stop feeling guilty, kid. He'll be fine."

Goku started at that.

"Have some faith."

---

**- Hakkai -**

He'd left because he knew Gojyo would need the time. To cope. To deal. To do whatever it was he needed to do. And he also knew he'd need to talk to Goku.

He put down his book as he heard the familiar footsteps come up the stairs and approach his room. He also wasn't surprised when there was no knock and the door opened silently to reveal Gojyo, smirking at him in his usual manner. He closed the door with a quiet click and walked over to Hakkai.

"You know, you're one hell of a bastard. You're bloody lucky I give a damn about you."

He simply smiled at his friend's eloquent language and his manner of getting straight to the point.

"I thought you'd appreciate it. You'd have to talk to him sooner or later. And it's better if it's while Sanzo's still… not ambulatory."

"For once, could you use language I understand?" Gojyo sighed in exasperation.

"I'm guessing it went well…" A half-statement, half-question.

Gojyo laughed loudly. "Oh, yeah. Brilliant!! I almost kissed the stupid kid! Why the hell does Sanzo have to always be the hero!?"

Hakkai let him rant until he stopped for breath, and smiled patiently. He'd grown used to Gojyo after living with him for years. What he wasn't expecting was to be pounced upon without warning and have insistent hands working at his clothes while an eager mouth attached itself to his own. The sensations that overloaded his senses left him momentarily immobile, but he regained himself rather quickly and disentangled himself from Gojyo's… talented hands.

He was still trying to catch his breath when he spoke.

"You haven't done that to me in a while… must've been worse than I thought."

Gojyo merely sighed in defeat.

"I think I'll go guard the bastard's door. You know how he is… always going something stupid…"

---

**- Sanzo -**

Hakkai's words haunted him. The man knew how to press people's buttons, he'd give him that.

But he'd always prided himself on the fact that he didn't **have** buttons…

Groaning, he twisted in the bed and let out a sharp hiss of breath as pain shot through his body. He supposed he'd lost too much blood… his brain wasn't functioning properly…

He realized it didn't matter. He still had things to do. Shuuei was still out there. No, not Shuuei. Rikudo. That was all that was left now.

That was all he'd left.

He was irritated when there was a knock at the door. Those guys knew him too well.

"If you're gonna slip out, be a pal and use the window. I'm kinda supposed to be guarding this exit."

He supposed there was something to be said about Gojyo. He was doing the best he could, given the circumstances. He knew Gojyo hated him for what he supposedly had, Goku's dedication and no family… no attachment to anyone save himself. Hated him because he wanted all the things Sanzo would be more than willing to give up for free.

But it wasn't his choice to make.

So he went to the forest, and he saw Rikudo… and his heart was an icy flame as he pulled the trigger. All he hoped was that somewhere, somehow…

… His Master was watching.

**END**


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